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About Me

StereoPathetic SoulManure?
2001-10-03 - 11:34 p.m.

The blah feeling all over again.

Everything so blah. Everything so incomplete, something is missing. I feel hopeless eventhough I got a lot. It's like an anorexic's booty, I just can't shake it. Every now and then, I get these self-depreciating moments, varying in severity. It feels like a great evil has been put upon me or I have caused one. It's never good. It's like a cold.....you just gotta let it pass. Suck-ass downtimes. I feel like eating a whole lot of something for money right now. I wish I could go to the mountain tops and ask a very wise, old man where to direct and build my life towards. He'd probably give me a fortune-like riddle, rather then an answer.....maybe trick me like Bruce Leroy from the Last Dragon......I don't know, I want him to tell me to buy a drum set and play funky drums. Within that rhythmic beat, is where I'll find the TRUE master.

My friend Nick is getting a banjo this weekend. That's gonna be damn interesting. He's such a talented music person, while I'm just a shitty-wannabe fan/collector of music. I play guitar, DJ, Scratch, lil drums, was in a band for a lil while.....Let's just say I know a whole lil about a WHOLE LOT. Nick is a damn virtuoso genius. We always talk about making a band or something, writing songs, making movies. He's better then me in everything, I'm just hanging off his nuts I think. He's such a creative genius. In fact, I envy the bastard!! Well, damn, I wish I was a bit more talented........I'm just a schmo, what a fucking life-draining, soul-stealing affirmation. What potential do I have?? Fucking Bumfuck Frostburg.....making shitty grades....trying hard at a school known for partying and having a STRESSFUL time. My friends are all slowly creeping away from me. The world is new and scary. I got my grrl......but how am I going to be a man for her feeling like a hopeless failure?! I'm in the wrong state to fully describe myself. For real, this is all WAY too positive.......I figure I'd dig into myself worse, I guess I got some ego left in me somewhere. Probably stemming from Video Games. If there's anything I'm competitive at, it's Video games. I'm the devil at video games, if I win I brag, if I lose, I'm the worst sore loser you've ever seen. I don't win anything and I don't lose anything, seems pointless to have your emotions swayed so wildly by a compact disc or cartridge. I'm a silly child. I'm a dumb animal. I'm big.....very big, obese in a medical sense. I'm a very big loser. A great majority of people can look at my files, my history, headshots and all.....and suffice to stamp LOSER on my documentation and file me back into storage. I'm

On another hand, I'm just a selfish prick. I don't appreciate anything. I just have a Negative mind set. I'm not thankful for my priviliged life. I'm a no-good whiny bitch.

My brother just said I was socially dead. Such a charmer. I think I'm more then that.......I can smell the decay setting in. I'm walking dead....I'm not a scary ghost either. I'm just a vapor, nothing special....nothing to drag attention too. People walk on the sidewalks, I decide to take the grass. I'm on different back roads. I'm a mime, but they don't so much hate me, nor do they feel like I'm entertaining, cause I'm bad at pantomime and my makeup is cheap, letting my true colors show. I'm a horrible presentation of myself. I got nothing worthy to offer. I type this drivel for no one. I vent to a monitor.....an NEC multisync 3V....a cheapo 15" deal with extra small fonts. I squint in and move closer to give me worse posture and it seems that the only warmth I get is from this screen. I rest my head under it at night literally. My computer hums and purs for the attention it needs. I give it to it.....I check my email 8 times a day. I get love now and then, but mostly junk and forwards. You know you've made someone feel "really" special when you've been put on their FORWARDS list. My computer offers all my solace, except for the kool aid and all. It plays the music, it shuffles to the songs I wanna listen too.....sometimes it does, but most of the time it decides to pick the crappiest-I-thought-I-deleted-that-shit Mp3s.

Where am I going? My brother Called me Sunshine Titties.

MrBongoNWC: Turn that frown upside down, sunshine titties.

Huggybear747: sunshine titties?

MrBongoNWC: Cause when you take off your shirt, the ladies avert their eyes like their burning.

Huggybear747: Well, somebody's gotta make em see the light

MrBongoNWC: Nothing about your fatass is LIGHT, bro.

"This lil light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."

Well, that about sums it.......YOU MAKE THE CALL.

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