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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2001-10-23 - 2:45 a.m. All these entries may look like my life sounds normal and average.....as I try to recreate them for you in some entertaining way....but for real.....it's boring.....really boring...I can't do anything about it.....I'm getting impatient with things, myself....life in general......just a general rut....waiting for that phone call that will change my entire life...You got the right to bitch only if the people around you can put up with it....I can't take myself bitching.....even at myself...Feeling bad about feeling bad.....and you should....wouldn't make much sense if you did like it...Hating yourself is SO SO MUCH EASIER then loving yourself....You wanna suffer like Jesus but at the same time you don't want tread upon people.....you walk over people regardless, whether you like it or not.....knowledge is power?.....it's nothing till it's shared and spoke...True Love will make you see the world in a different tint....food will taste better...things will get brighter.....If you're good enough, you can make anything look pointless, so what's the point in that?....How do blind folks know where the braille IS to read it? Shouldn't they have speakers next to braille text that says, "Hey! Blind people! There's braille for you to read here!"....Can you get the same effects of love from loving a person and something like an insane love to play skeeball?.....I don't even know what that means, or if it makes any sense......but does that matter......Do I create my universe?....is this all my head.....you people are just the players in my puppetshow.....who knows, maybe I'll hit "the end" like Truman.....if I want to spice up my life, I'll pick up some Mrs. Dash......I got a 9:30am class.....such trite....he specializes in Latin American history but he's teaching me about England, go figure......Frostburg State is a college.....I don't see myself here next year.....I don't see myself back "home" either....I feel a calling to Texas......The advising father is the obstacle I'm worried about, fuck fearing all that job, expenses, PLACE TO LIVE-type junk.....Raven wants to tag along.....Can I be a man for her????.....Will I be happy in Texas?.....with her, me....Me first taste of living on my own.....I know it'll be shitty initially....but I'll cherish it.....I haven't declared a major yet.....My "major" has only four professors devoted to it, and they are all dicks.....I'm in the wrong place for my major....I just learn about things the school can't afford and see old things that'll never use in the future.....so pointless at times......just like this entry....if you make anything out of this.....please tell me.......or tell me to shut the hell up if it's getting unbearable.....
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