 |
|
 |
|
 Latest
|
Diaryland |
|
2001-10-24 - 2:10 a.m. *I don't do poems.....just flow on my thought.....(that sounds so gay, like after I say that I should blow a kiss at you with two fingers and wear tiny sunglasses.....just call me Fabian)....anywho.....enjoy? "Even in my slumber, I pis people off.....I snooze......snoring disturbance.......3 raps with a fist on my desk......for my benefit? or his?......I've been exposed twice today alone......am I slowing down.....No more late nights for me!.......College boring?....Is that the sole reason?.....My head itches......I woke up and went to class with crap still in the valleys of my eyes......My cough, my illness even irks them......the professor goes on.....without a doubt, my mind is elsewhere......dreams? Realizations?....flashbacks?.......My physical body yearns like my mind......I wonder where everyone else is.....Am I lost?....Or did I find my shortcut.....Going with the flow is burning me out.....Should I hang on the side for a bit?....Or should I get out of the rough waters?....My hands feel tied.....time, precious time.....ticks and tocks, slipping through my fingers.....When will I'll be able to grasp?......On my own free will?....Will I feel forever burdened.......what's a bird without its wings?....Dead, I figure....we aren't self-sufficient at first.....we build our own wings.....Do I deserve to soar?.....The world around seems more worthy 'cause it keeps moving.....Even when I run out of gas.....There's not enough in my soul to find what's sacred.....Am I living up to something....Why don't I feel I control myself?.....Not necessarily 'cause I can't.....maybe just afraid......why? ....Why live up to these ideals?.....Why should I be well-rounded?.....What good does shaking my fist do?.....What can I offer to this "cause?"......Am I looking for truth or a pat on my very back? ....On a quest for the unknown-'cause I've been down that road of self-hatred.....I can deal, I can maintain.....like I am now....In it for a long haul.....Maybe this is just a dip after a rise.....An eternal downfall?....I want wings......I want above this....." Got caught snoring in ALL three of my classes today......nothing major, I've slept in all of them at least once, but in sequence, the entire day....that's a feat. Just for good measure, someone pulled a fire alarm around 1am.....Again.....wow! More pranksters! At least it kept me up to study more and key in this diary....
|
|
 |
|
