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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2001-11-09 - 7:19 p.m. Wasted away today....I didn't even go to dinner.....my ass is magnetic to the bed.....I watched Mr. Show tapes and dozed in and out of consciousness.....did I ever laugh, I wonder......hmmm....I don't think so....I still watch it anyways, what else is there to do? The whole crew is in the quad.....what a suck ass bunch of fools we are, me being the worse....at least they are hanging out together, I'm sitting here in the darkness......watching TV.....I'm really just droning everything out and digging into my thought.....I changed my annoying Voice mail message for my woman.....it was annoying.....I never expected anyone wanting me, ever.....that's why I made such a long, annoying message......I read my grrl's entry today, and apparently she's devoid of sleep....I wish I could sleep with her.....she always goes to sleep for hours and hours when she's next to me.....makes me kinda think I bore her.....RUT RUT RUT.....the whole day has no hope.......drugs and alcohol are just that......none of them have solutions......I probably do bore her.....she IMed me....told me she wasn't gonna be on tonight.....so in the coma I go......I hope she's having fun and at the same time I hope she's getting some rest.....Insomnia is a bad feeling.....I wish I was there to "bore" her......I bore myself.....I'm here all alone.....I feel like I'm getting Relationship "shakes"....I feel the walls are caving in on me.....I wanna drive, far, far, away.......get outta of my mind for awhile......you know....but is that gonna happen, maybe in the wee hours of the night I will.....I am alone here but I don't feel like it......I wanna be with her......and now I don't want to be.....I don't want to DRAG her down....she's meant to soar high above me.......she's so graceful......I'm so grounded......I feel like crying right now.......this shit is too intense.....What the hell??? I'm getting cold shivers....I need to go back to my bed and wrap myself in my thoughts.....and my blanket....my body will be warm but my mind will remain cold.........
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