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Wastin time............
2002-03-06 - 8:58 p.m.

I should be working. Here I am dicking around. Like the new layout? Yeah, it's a bit weird, a bit fucked up, but oh well, that's what you're gonna get until I get fiesty again. School's just a rut right now. Home, just another day away, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Home is so foreign now and now that me and that one girl I keep talkin bout :) (I wonder) are not really together anymore just makes me feel all the much more weirder..........Home is so weird, life is so weird, I just want a trip out of it right now. I don't see that coming anytime soon. It just looks worse and worse, but it's probably gonna blow by in the haze of papers, quizzes, jobs, wild nights, and boring, unsettling days. I got no safety net, that's how it feels, I'm just queezy from being this high up on my own right now. This pole is quite unstable and I don't have the right shoes to walk this tightrope. Jitters aside, I'm trying my best to maintain course, wherever it goes, and hopefully I'll fancy myself less lost and more found. I wanna chill with Nick, get some errands done, see David Cross and have a good olde time (the main reason for this weekend excursion.) I feel like I just said I'm ready to accept things and I'm just beginning to realize the side effects of it, all the sucking and the pain of it all, but I can't back on my word. WORD IS BON. My first days in boot camp are pretty rough, but hopefully, after it's all done, I'll be carved outta stone, a soul ready to recieve and give fully. A MEAN, GREEN LIVING MACHINE. Right now, I just want a hug n cuddle with Raven and get a call from mommy. Anyways, bullshit, I mean studying and laundry and stuff awaits..............

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