 |
|
 |
|
 Latest
|
Diaryland |
|
2002-05-09 - 5:38 a.m. Yes, I'm up at 5:38am. I crashed around 1-2ish and slept for awhile but guilty me decides to get off of his ass and study. Look how well it's going. Checking diaries, checking posts on Mister Blunts and just moping around generally, feeling blah about the immediate future and the rest of it that lies ahead. *Reminder, just buy and send mom something after class today.* I guess since it's almost 6am with the birds out in full force, crooning their tunes, maybe I should write. "About what?" hmmmm.....Well, to cap yesterday's festivities off, I found a Zippo Lighter in the washer while doing laundry. It needs a flint and some fluid, but it's pretty tip-top. It's silver, with the Jack Daniels logo on the front. I played with my new toy all day. Eventhough it wasn't in working order, I just felt badass opening and closing the bad boy repeatedly like it was some nervous twitch of mine. I'd bang it off my hip then close it down, striking it against my meaty palm. That "Click" sound I'm so accustomed too. Free shit, found shit=bliss in most cases. A twenty dollar zippo made my day. Rewind to Tuesday, hectic day. I woke up particularly distraught over something but had no time to hammer it out, just sat through my classes with discomfort. It wasn't that bad. I just hope I'm not causing unnecessary anguish, especially during already stressful times. I get worried. If I could choose between affecting people positively and negatively OR not affecting people at all, I'd probably pick the latter. I really get confused, sad, and hurt to see someone hurt, especially by me. I take offense to things, but not violently, more innocence-like. I might be a bit of a hypocrite at times, being that I poke fun at people repeatedly, kind-heartedly for the most part, and they come back to me with something witty and my first thought is always "WHAT'S WRONG?!?" It's like I can't laugh if the joke's on me. Is it because you bested a man that builds his very life on it at times OR is it just because I'm pompous and can't really take a joke because I spend alot of time putting them out? Hmmmm.....maybe a combo of these elements plus some others. Anyways, class this, class that. Tuesday was the worst hip-hop night for us ever. One freestyle, maybe 3 showed up, being our close friends that help run it. People were having a meeting in the basement and complained my music was too loud. Chrissys' stayed the whole time. She's my number one fan. We talked most the night. She's a cool one. Would you call it flirtation? No, not really, we weren't alluding to it. I was definitely thinking about it time to time. She is beautiful, she's oddly not my type at all either. She's 5'9, blonde, Italian, skinny, almost bone skinny. It's just something about her. She's very receptive to me, which is cool, but damn she is lofty to me. The way she dresses, the way she walks, talks, her eyes, her laugh, her voice. It's like royalty to me. She's lived in DC her whole life. I feel like a redneck next to her. She works at Bloomingdales, knows about upscale fashions, dresses accordingly, rocks a funky, playful, refined style. Just royalty. Every little nuance of her style just brims with some sort of confidence, from her strut to her sides of her thong just poking out of her low-cut jeans and resting on the sides of her bare mid-riff. She walks and stands tall. She looks empowered, but is she? I don't know, haven't known her for too long. She's definitely upper-upper class, she's richer, and although she displays it on her heroin-chic frame, she walks among us business classers talking TO us and not DOWN to us. I'm just glad I met her, some would be too intimidated just by the way she carries herself. Luckily, she knew Bat, everyone knows Bat, and she had an interest in DJing and I learned not to be so sheepish about her imposing, runway walks. She knows she's beautiful, I've been thinking about telling her, but why point out the obvious? Where does that go? She's Laurel to my Hardy. It's like bluegrass and DJ Premier, it just doesn't mix well.
|
|
 |
|
