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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2002-06-29 - 3:00 a.m. Raven Broke up with me. I think about her all the damn time. My boy Big Daddy P is coming off a break up with his girl of 10 months. Break-ups come in pairs??? I can't stop thinking about her. It's not in any psycho maddening way, it's just that I love her and I still do believe in something, something special. She probably doesn't want to here that. Apparently, she's doing fine from what I know. She described our break up as one with a million year half life. I guess she's happy. FREE I guess. Really, it just looks like I'm the one with the evil hands it seems. Like she's broke free from my evil grips. She's the one sighing in relief. She got the rescue boat and I went down with the ship. No one will ever love her like I love her. Am I being cocky here? I really do think she and I have something. She doesn't believe it, or me, or "the one." Is it wrong to think she is still the one for me??? Really, she doesn't believe in it, but I think she just doesn't understand where I'm coming from. The one isn't just some gut feeling that grips at your soul. Only if it was that simple. True Love. It's not invasive. It's not at all confining. It's not a shot in the dark. It's nothing that can be bothered to be measured or weighed against. It's tolerance. It's hardship. It's clarity. It's work. It's history. It's love. It's truth. It's patience. It's being humble. It's taking someone for who they are and being able to see what magnificent people they are and all their glory and potential. It's the strength, charity, and support that takes hold when you see them at their worst. It's loving life and soaking it up to enormous super saturated capacities and being steeped in the joys of life some more. That's what the one is. Will anybody else love Raven like that? I hope so. I sincerely do. Then maybe she'll see it, what she doesn't believe, because it's truly beautiful and I'm glad to even glance at it for the brief time I did, the feeling was so immense.........it's just indescribable. I didn't get a happy ending to my love story, but the good thing is, it hasn't ended. I still believe in it, I still believe in her, I still believe. I love you more then you care to know baby. Call me if you feel me Run away if you don't Just remember either way you goin' I'll still have my hopes dreams and aspirations and my Cin-der-ella stories I rather chase after the dream and get burned up in all it's glory And if this is all too much to bare to see me go down with my hopes Then let the truth carry us clear and give us room for us to cope
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