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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2003-04-19 - 8:46 a.m. I got my sleep fixed once before. I now cuddle up to a Bi-Pap Machine every night and my problem was solved. Now my body doesn't want to stay awake eventhough I've rested well. I feel weird. I feel like I'm droning on. I wish I could remember my dreams. When I couldn't get the proper sleep, everything seemed out of place, a blur of reality smeared across a canvas in very dim light. Just getting through the day then was a dream in itself with a dizzying array of thoughts and ideas. I thought so differently then, it was weirdly interesting fighting to stay up to work, to pay attention in class, to drive, to watch a movie from start to finish......once. A couple near death experiences at the wheel ended the honeymoon eventually. Now I'm a sleep soldier with nothing to fight for. Just remnants of the past scattered about my bedroom floor. All the memories tucked in drawers and shoeboxes. Letters and notes, pictures and gifts. There was no departure from my once blurred surroundings. Everything just got up and left it seems. My past was a blur of reality and looking back in a clearer mind, it can get harder to decipher. I've tended to the beacons of my past that guided me when I was set adrift. Now those beacons are fading away as soon as I washed up on the shore. The dawn of a new age has arrived. The lights no longer need to be on and the sun is just above the horizon, burning purples, oranges, and yellows into the morning sky. Time for re-invention but I'm no inventor. Not now......maybe tommorrow, but the past will never be again and that's for sure.
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