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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2003-07-05 - 9:45 a.m. Yeah, I work alot. Yeah, I don't get paid that much either. I can show up to work 5 days a week, work killer shifts, but if you ask me where I put that CD you left at my house, my mind goes blank. I've been driving my brother's truck since he's been out in Texas. I was too lazy to put gas in mine, so I've been using his gas-ladened beast. He gets back today. The one big happy family back together again. The one big family that all live in one house and all work at different times and say less then 100 words to each other every week. I swear this week, I'm gonna start counting. At least the TV spends quality time with my dad and the 234297 channels he flips through every night. My mom has alot of friends at her work. She got on TV for some dialysis news story. John, well, he's very pre-occupied with getting the fuck out and starting to write. I hardly see him since he goes to work at 8 and sleeps at 10. I come home to either three things, dad flipping through stations, everyone passed out, or someone usually dad passed out in front of the TV. I have a family here and I feel quite alone. Meaningful and worthwhile conversations and moments are getting too far from each other. Nick and I usually have something worthwhile to say. Kevin every so often. John Logan and I used to just talk about everything every weekend. He hasn't called for a couple weekends but he's on a mountain making trails. I'm just too choked up most the time to talk to Raven, if we are usually talking, I feel like a concerned mother and it's her dishing the story and me offering advice. I talk to people online like that. I take the role of concerned mother. There's Jimmy, who regularly posts on Mr. Blunts from Austrailia who thinks he'll never get laid and gets hellishly nervous around women. There's this girl from Bmore who also posted on Blunts that basically tells me stories and problems of coming of age girls, dealing with sex and "boyz." Then there's Anne, who had problems with her mom and psycho neighbor. There's also Brenda, the magnificent writer whom I'd drool over who shares her love/war stories with me like we were having drinks at a bar. There was Anthony in NY who wanted to kick it to this punk grrl and didn't know how to and just wanted his ex back. Then there was lovely Dharma, a beauty of a swedish grrl who was going through a tough break up. There's a handful more out there, listening to my advice. Sharing their lives with a complete stranger that tries his best to set no Judgements and give the best advice he can give. I'll tell you one thing, concerned mothers just cry silently and alone in their own beds.
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