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About Me

Keeping it linear in the realm of the boundless
2003-08-21 - 10:48 p.m.

Fancy things.......

I don't know how I feel. I don't know when I've really ever did unless I felt terrible. I see people afraid of pain and suffering and are in a constant pursuit of running away from it. I've almost always stood my ground and let it run me the fuck over. It's happiness I get apprehensive of on a disturbing frequency.

It doesn't happen all the time, but when it happens, it happens in spades. And when I get the courage just to forget my fears, my happiness is so fucking intense it probably looks downright scary. Very manic-esque of me. I've tasted euphoric highs and some painful fucking lows.

I've noticed things. People are in search of equilibriums when it comes to their emotions. Which is fine. But I believe sometimes you just gotta get your heart torn out of your chest to know you have one that can be so tender and caring. Sometimes, I think you just gotta act like a fucking buffoon and go all in standing in the face of danger, heartbreak, and possible bodily harm.

This isn't profound when I say it to myself. It's downright elementary actually. I think people just want others to ride alongside their emotions whether they'd be giving their hand or reaching for yours. What's important or what really matters is that you know why you're doing it. You can easily get lost in the process of making people happy or sulking yourself into oblivion. The very meticulousness you put in the search for the fine tuning your emotions need to be that much happier or depressed, cheapens your own heart and the reasons why it beats for you.

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