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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2003-09-26 - 10:10 a.m. My ass recedes back into a depressive state. I think what triggered it was red light cameras. I was driving home from seeing my film teacher's premiere at the Senator Theatre and as I'm turning on Pering Parkway FLASH FLASH. The light was green, I don't know exactly why they flashed. I'm thinking maybe I was taking a left onto the parkway when I should of been waiting for a left turn signal, but I took it as a city intersection and let oncoming traffic by and when you were clear, you have the right of way to take a left. It was late and I was tired and I can't wait to get that in the mail.....if it was me that those voyeur cameras were deciding to pick out. The light was green, totally and I don't remember seeing any red left turn signal to tell me, HEY! DON'T TURN! Well, I don't need anymore driving woes and a few weeks, maybe I'll have another. Anyways, the premiere was okay, champagne is a sweet and bubbly drink. John Logan went with me. The movie was a pleasent surprise. It was damn good, 3 outta 4 I would rate it. I thought it wouldn't be that good, but it was and that rocked. Brandau gets big ups! I was disappointed of a lack of an after-party and we waited patiently to see if there was, but never had the notion to ask. I was in stranger's territory, I only talked to 4 people there. One was John, and the other 3 were the popcorn, drink, and champagne people. I was in a dancing mood that night. Too bad I never got to cut up and my friend John is under 21 so it caused extra difficulty. Did I mention I'm tired? And this week isn't even over yet. The most important shit of the week is coming up and right now I'm injured. Mentally injured. I feel like shit, from zero to shit in ASA 800. I also had a dream last night that one of my friends had "relations" with my "ex-relations" partner. It was terribly upsetting for one reason or another and I wouldn't know how to handle that and it's definitely wasn't something I needed to dream about. I'm tired of this fucking shit, I really am. Fucking Seratonin, somebody must of stole my shit when I turned 14. Why can't I just change it all by just punching myself in the face? Why do I gotta think about ends instead of cycles, why do I gotta have grandiose thoughts of a grand finale and even then have no willpower to get the fireworks? I'm tired, sick, and I'm shit. And I'm always SICK and TIRED of this SHIT. I'm always thinking one day, one day it'll be different. I'm reading books, I'm feeling good, I'm participating in class disscussion, I'm busy....*SMACK!* SIT THE FUCK DOWN! Shit is relentless.......It fucking is just there, propped up on your shoulder whispering shit into your ear and I'm like on a righteous crusade, battling the evil doers in my path everyday like my man Jeru..... "One day I got struck by Knowledge of Self It gave me super-scientifical powers Now I, run through the ghetto Battlin my, arch nemesis Mr. Ignorance He's been tryin to take me out since the days of my youth He feared this day would come I'm hot on his trail, but sometimes he slips away Because he has an army, they always give me trouble Mainly - Hatred, Jealousy and Envy they attack me They think they got me But I use my super-science and I twist all three I see sparks over that buildin - they're shootin at me I dip, do a backflip Then hit em in the heart with sharp steel bookmarks Ignorance hates when I drop it But no matter, what he do.. he can't stop the Prophet" But for right now, I'm on a defensive.....
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