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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2003-12-10 - 9:53 a.m. My science is way too tight. I swear. You ever just have one of those conversations with someone or somebody and they just talk and talk just a little bit too long to be say.....uncomfortable? Everyone has, but you see one scenario in particular where this guy or gal is just really being "real" to you, is the conversation that I'm driving at. Let me explain. You see, obviously, this guy/gal has liked your style OR thought you were funny OR thought you had the same taste in bands etc. and all of a sudden they decide to drop ideas on you that they've probably been mulling over for ages. Trust me, they think it's genius and they just gotta tell it. Now comes you, being nice but knowing right off the bat that this guy/gal is talking about some shit you've heard a million times over and nodding your head to and soon begin to realize, this guy/gal isn't stopping. Apparently, they've confided in you and decided to lay down all their mental trash on you. What do you do? You be nice. First, you interject your textbook wittiness with expert timing. "Yeah, seriously, what's up with the decor in Red Lobster? It's like a TGI Friday's fucked a Cracker Barrell in the bathroom of a Long John Silvers!" and you see this is what makes him/her trust you that much more to tell you all his/her recent brain droppings. you figure your clever banter humbles the poor sap into thinking more about his choice or words, therefore shortening this convo considerably by upstaging him. This works especially well when another person is sucked into this conversation hell. Second, you try to stray the conversation onto a more interesting path, desparately looking for the perfect segue into "Hey! WHAT RHYMES WITH BRRRAPPP!???? *FART!!!!!!!*" but it doesn't come, this guy/gal has came prepared. They are having the conversation they've always thought of having right then and there and there's no stopping that gravy train. So, you resort back to the wit, this time you try to make the muthafucka laugh so hard that it jogs his fucking thought and forgets where he is just for that small window of opportunity to cut out with, "Damn, well, I don't know about you guys, but I got to take one helluva shit!" It isn't happening though, because since this guy/gal trusts you so much, he's moved from the typical fart/dick joke casual aquaintance safety conversations to some real "serious" issues. Now at this point you're just looking for someone to ask to bum a cigarette off of you or a walk-by of another fellow you faintly remember or know and try to throw them in the mix to create confusion and cut this dude/dudette off completely and maybe then he realizes that you're only objectively listening but then he/she will think you're a jerk. So, it can't be that long of a cut-off, just enough to make him think you're a dick but not enough to solidify the notion. Now, if this all fails, you just gotta ride out the perfect storm and cross your fingers that someone calls you on your cell phone. You just gotta ride it out. God bless these people, you gotta just talk sometimes, even if it's shit you've heard a million times but jesus christ, are there any interesting people left on this planet?!?!?
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