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About Me

Part deux........
2004-03-07 - 11:22 a.m.

Alright, I know I left you fan(s) hangin'......what can I say? I'm a busy man.....

Well, where we last left off.....

So I was awkward at the first cast reading. That's natural for someone like me. I always try to take it somewhere else in my head. If I go to a straight up party, I'm always thinkin', "Why am I not DJing this party, it'd be 100 times hotter if I did." But for a situation like the first reading, I push my funny to maximum. If you can't be comfortable around friendly folk, you make them your audience.......that is if you're good at being funny. I gotta thank the makers of "Boh Ice" for allowing me to raise the house voice level up 15 db's so that everyone in the room could here my jokes about one armed drummers beating their girlfriends and making fun of 80s music videos.

I must of ate a good 3 lbs of chips, salsa, hummus, flat bread, and brownies along with all the beer I drank. Food is comfortable food IS love, and being the Fat Kid-Freight Throwin' Philosopher that I am, I went for glutton status. Nick and I are always seemin' to blur the lines between eating and competitive spirit everytime we hit up any place with free food or drink or unlimited servings. Some people play basketball, video games, or even board games like "Cranium" but Nick and I are all about how many "Chocolate Tallcakes" can you eat at "Ruby Tuesdays" and we usually frighten people by our calorie intake.....we're barbarians, we're vikings......savages even. Even when we eat, we intend to scare folks......and make them re-evaluate their souls.........THE HORROR!!!

Anyways, with all that in your system makes for some awful tasting vomit. My brother and I were the last ones to leave, because I wanted to throughly get shitfaced if I wasn't already and Tracey and Ryan are real cool people, mad nice and funny. Tracey was offering me Indian cigarettes and that's what did me in.....they were good though.....I think regular cigarettes would of done me in too though like they did back at the ocean where Nick had to clean up my vomit off his shorts. It was alot of vomit too. I didn't really feel that embarassed though. Eventhough it was the first time I go to their house and I christened their house with my vomit, I didn't feel that bad......but I did get one of those drunk moments of clarity.....like when you wake up after passing out or vomiting, you get a clear moment in your head......and you start from scratch, you figure out where you are, what you need to do, how you're going to do it. It's a "drunken focus" thing and there was alot of vomit to clean up and I only had a roll or two of toilet paper......I bet they found all sorts of funky chunks too later......the vomit velocity was ultra fast.

Ryan said I made their night......which I seriously doubt. Ryan is always deadpan, I can't really tell if he's actually tellin' the truth or not but come on, I vomited all over the man's floor. Ryan is an "ICE COLD" mu'fucka I tell you. Tracey looked concerned I remember. My brother looked like he expected nothing less from me. Ryan did put in a perspective though, "It ain't a party until somebody vomits."

So, armed with a script, a paper bag lined with plastic bags.....my brother took me home bright and early at 4am.......a path of vomitous destruction in my wake.

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