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Maybe I'll go buy a gun............
2004-03-27 - 1:08 p.m.

We have been taught about the world around us, without the tools or the right minds to teach us. Everything around us usually comes from somewhere else far away with little or no connection from which they were made. Developed, and ultimately filtered down to us as generic blandness, our tools of our civilization become universal, absent of soul, and devoid of character beyond an understanding of quality and value.

We live in a world where we find more time for co-workers then we do our friends. We integrate without reasoning or understanding. We call it integration because we walk past each other in the street and don't say anything or even less, see "them" on TV or hear "them" on radio, and as long as you whisper "them", it'll be okay. "Them" and you are too busy to listen. Why confront it when you live in a small circle? Why deal with it when your life consists of commuting to work, then home, and the occasional supermarket or restaurant or shopping mall, which have been developed for the mindless in mind.

There's so many brand names to choose from. So many sales to get at. Money to spend and save to spend on even bigger things. Who knows what will be essential to you tommorrow? What matters is that you can when you want. Convenience, to do what REALLY matters to you. Family comes to mind, which can vary from a loose connection of a last name to an intense bond of shared experience, driving you to make intensive sacrifices out of a sign of respect and reputation. It is an endurance test to show signs of humanity, which has become increasingly difficult as we grow up. Families know nothing of themselves or their neighbors, raising each other on the increasing desperation.

We immediately reach for what's openly available, no matter how absurd. Cars, SUVs, speed boats, DVDs, bullshit, and fantasy. WE HAVE PLACES CALLED AMUSEMENT PARKS. How fucking clueless must you be to not be able figure out how to amuse yourself so much that you must have some place speciifically identified as a place to do so? It isn't so bad to swallow when you exist in a world where things are readily bought and sold, moved, shipped, traded, optioned, proposed, and negotiated for money..........AKA the foundation of "convenience."

We are brought up to recognize but not realize the world and it's so damn frightening that we huddle to our families, who we fight for to get the conveniences that end up eating us alive from the inside out instead of cultivating our minds and bodies to reach higher purpose.

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