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2004-12-11 - 8:01 a.m. I wasn't at work tonite, I was in the last pages of "The Fountainhead." I doctored up half my paperwork to finish it. Your body will check out when it needs to and your mind will check out when it wants to. I couldn't concentrate the whole night on anything work related. I wrote 3 variations of the same contract in a notebook. Her Name, 3 words. My signature I wrote just the 3 words in cursive, thinking about how long it has been since I've wrote in cursive. Then I wrote it all in cursive, it looked gaudy. Then I wrote it plain and straightforward. All 3 signed the same, three of the same contract but all different. My first inclination was, "she deserves all three....maybe even more.." With more thought, I realized.......it's what I want to give. Those 3 contracts were tough to look at, but I just looked at them.....I brought the notebook out, because I had no book to read anymore and restless thought so naturally, "write......." I tell myself and that's what I come up with. I figured I'd mail it.......the neatest one, but I couldn't choose, the plain style appealed to me but they were all signed the same. The same way, iron-clad in every style. I thought, you can dress up those 3 words in an infinite amount of ways, but it's meaningless if you don't stand by all of them with the same integrity. I knew this was a step, a start, a new beginning....a perspective I sorely needed.
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