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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2005-01-17 - 12:26 a.m. Dear men and women of the Hondance festival, Thanks and congratulations. It was good to see new faces mingled in with the old. Now, to my homies: Ryan: You are a mastermind. You got drive and know-how that's just frightening at times like that of a tragic hero. You're destined for big-shot status in some capacity if not already. There's times where people want to kill you, but you always seem to manage to get your ends and just leaves us hoping its' your nature and not what really matters to you. I've managed not to kick your ass and that says something about the both of us. I know where you're coming from and I can see the ideas you see.....I still owe you a kick in the balls though, but who knows, I might not have to ever cash that ticket in. You've taught me so much and you continue to school Nikc and I and run us through the paces. The first time we met you, Nikc and I knew this was the right way of doing things and we'll walk with you wherever you walk, because we believe in you. Curtis: I know very little about you, but already know you're a great man. You didn't come all this way to see snow and I hope you saw what you needed to see. I think you'll realize that it's exactly what you needed to see. Someone like you shouldn't be idle or hopeless-and you're not, but you sure look it at times. You did the right thing, but maybe you expected the wrong thing, but regardless, I know what you've done for these productions and you've probably helped not only Ryan and Tracey, but all of us and carried us more then you think from just what you've seen. Maybe we don't appreciate it enough, but I know the shoes you're in and I know it's a matter of time you just start walking in them. I think you're mind would be much more exciting then your wallet, but you must admit the two probably would be a scary combo. You do what you can, and we'll always be eternally grateful. Tracey: Frankly, in my opinion you devoted yourself the most to this. You're tirelessly supportive. You're the mother hen. You're the mother to this creative behemoth. And you give and give and give so much and do it with grace and style and also with hurt and frustration with such a strong and enduring heart. And like all mamas, you're a diverse and creative creature that has seen and done and conjured amazing things that make even us look plain. You should get mother's day gifts from all of us. You more then deserve that. I can see so much creative stuff in that head of yours and I want to see it come out. I remember getting high with you upstairs and you showed me your drawing tablet and that art program and how frightening and exciting it was to see you just so animated and brilliant and glorious. It really touched me to see you like that. I sat in the back of the film festival with you most the time. We had our reasons, but you need to know you have more talent in your pinky finger then most of us. We want to make your ideas happen. You don't always gotta be mama. Trust me, I think you're the only one in the world that could make Ryan gladly do make-up for you and he should. That's what love does, a little give, a little take. Steve: If you were a Dungeons and Dragons character, you'd be a level 17 Noble Paladin with a lawful good demeanor, wielding a mighty sword of justice which you never ever have to use, maybe only brandish to cast the light of purity on the shit of the world and they almost always get the message. You're a pure man. You are 1950s. I enjoyed talking shop about our PC muscles and the amazing things they could do. I enjoyed the swiss mix. I never seen a man laugh so good and hard like you do. Always from the gut. I don't really know alot about your company, but I know that shit stresses you out, and I couldn't personally think of anyone better but you to run something so important to all of us art folks that actually want to make things happen. If Tracey's the mama, I'd make you the papa of this behemoth. You're dedicated and always down kinda guy that has one of the most genuine hearts I've ever seen. You're really my "personal jesus" at times, and I'm thankful for that. Nikc: My heterosexual life partner. I don't really know what mysterious force drew us together, but I thank my lucky stars to have someone like you in my life. I've seen you in the last couple of years just turn into this fucking machine dude! That eats lightning and craps artistic thunder just about every god damned day and it's fucking frightening dawg! For a time, I tried to keep up, but then I realized I've always been with you every step of the way and I always will be. I couldn't think of half the shit I think of now without you. I wouldn't be doing half the shit I'm doing without you. We just keep getting hungrier and hungrier with this shit too. It's glorious, it really is, every year, gets better and I'm left wondering why the fuck or how the fuck it ended up like that with all this shit going down in the recent years and you're probably the only mutha fucka that kept me alive and sane at times. Working up on that palletizer, all I thought of was making that paper to buy that camera and all the things we could do when I was in that pain, the frustration, just wanting to say "fuck it" but you'd always pop in my head to keep me going. We're destined to make things happen together from here, to the big top, and even all the way to the grave.
brother-brother John: You've always been good to me. You are like the sole nurturer of a side most people don't see of me. You are a mind. You do great things. I've seen a transformation in you too over the last couple of years and it makes me happy to be able to witness it. Just talking with you is a challenge to my intellect. You make me think and alot of times, you have stumped me and changed me or made me stick to my guns and even frustrated the hell out of me at times. I appreciate every minute of it. You work hard and put yourself through alot of grief at times, but know that I always got your back and many others do too. I never hid anything from you. I don't ever intend to. I don't have to and we can practice for hours and make nothing and be proud because we can be candid about each other and what we do together-we've always had that and that alone is better then any mix, scratch, session, loop, beat, headnodding in the truck, etc. we've ever experienced. We love this shit and we always will. Music, art, books, ....life. Bat: I think you and I crafted this mighty character of you, but we've been through so much shit together and being a character does you no justice. I've seen so much just being around you. You're like an advanced game system with over 16 million shades of color in this 8-bit world. You add color to everyone's palette, whether they understand it or not. We've gotten so high so many times and We've always knew our cause. We've been able to craft words and phrases that only make sense to us. Times are a'changin' and we've been going through the paces of early adulthood with everyone else and I'm glad you're finding your way. I was worried briefly for you, like your heart needed to be protected, but you've been handling it pretty well and turning all the barbs of life back into artistic genius and new perspective and I'm hitting myself with a smile on my face with the thought of ever doubting that. BGA-er's for life. Erica: Your fat kid voice has got so impressive over the last months. It rivals even mine. You're a good young woman woman. Nikc loves you like nobody's business and I'm not at least bit envious that I'm getting the "sloppy seconds" because you are good for him. I know I ain't him or you but I know you've given him alot of love and support lately. He needs it and I know my brother Nikc wouldn't be as confident and understanding without that woman's touch that you give him. He ain't the easiest cat to love, no thugbillies are, but you're special, believe that. I'm glad to know you as you and see you cute bastards together, because some days it's been the only thing I knew was right in the world. Nikc's a lucky bastard to have you and I'm just a lucky bastard to know you telling me to eat good and shit and rest like a normal human being and whatnot, because you've always known us past our thugbilly exteriors. Cindy: I love you. You'll love these guys. This is my family. You with me, you with all them, they are the core that makes the core of me. I know this is alot of stuff to drop and this isn't even really about Hondance either. This is shit I've been always been meaning to say and always think and being all beaten and bruised and tired from this whole glorious experience and it's ups and downs, I figured it's time you know. We hold so much back to keep our wits about us and our stress levels at some manageable level, to work as this one flowing mega-constructacon and I just want everyone to know, it's out of love for all of you guys. We can survive through anything and this is just the beginning. Seriously, without you guys, I'd be dead most likely. There's no other group of folks I want to be around and collaborate with more. The shit just comes natural with us, nah'mean? It's physics, I'm down for ya'll like gravity.
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