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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2005-06-26 - 2:19 p.m. Last night, driving home on 95, a guy on a motorbike decided to let me pull up to the side of him, just so I can watch him pull a wheely for a half a mile going 80mph+ and at first, I was honestly wowed. I thought later however, "I could of just nudged him with my truck.....now THAT would be exhilarating!" So yes, I am an old man by the way and a grumpy one at that. I felt very disjointed and depressed all yesterday. It got progressively worse throughout the night. It's been awhile since I've had a swing like that and I honestly don't know what triggered it but I felt that I wanted to be alone for a substantial amount of time. Dark shit, blah blah blah, you know the drill. Everything you can get under the viewing glass that you can think of, putting me on a defensive in which I thought I lost a bit of ground to. It was quite weird though that everything felt foreign to me, from my surroundings to the people I know, I felt like an outsider all of a sudden in just a very weird way. Nothing to be had, nothing to be done, nothing to the imagination.....and this feeling crept and leapt onto me suddenly and just wouldn't let go that broke any semblance of control and good nature in my body. It was quite fascinating and awful scary because it's been awhile. Life ain't all handjobs and ice cream. You ever work for so long you forget how to function outside of work nature? I feel like Johnny 5 right after he got struck by lightning and tries to gain his bearings in the outside, learns of his robot past, and learns of human concepts like "death and joy." Really, I looked at the clock and thought, "Oh hey, I'd be doing this at work right now..." That's when you know you've been working too damn much.
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