In the Name of Brotherly Love.......
2005-10-08 - 11:39 p.m.
Huggybear747: Hey, by the way, thanks for leaving that 2/3 full can of Pepsi One on the edge of my computer desk behind my chair. Huggybear747: That was FUN. Huggybear747: asshole MrBongoNWC: It was fine until you pushed it over. Don't lay this ALL on me. MrBongoNWC: I'm sorry about my Pepsi negligence. MrBongoNWC: Hope nothing got shorted out or broken. Huggybear747: Yeah........Well, you are lucky Huggybear747: and you should DRINK SHIT IF YOU OPEN IT MrBongoNWC: how so? I got a fucking hole in my roof. MrBongoNWC: Ok. MrBongoNWC: Sorry...no more open beverage containers in MIKE's room. Huggybear747: yeah, roof is an act of god, soda spill is an act of negligence Huggybear747: roof is also an act of negligence now that I think of it.......but nothing you could of changed MrBongoNWC: So is leaning back in your Dr. Claw chair without paying attention. Huggybear747: Hey, I didn't viet kong booby trap my computer desk Huggybear747: I am not in a war zone Huggybear747: if I want to lean back when I'm typing, I can. MrBongoNWC: Funny. It LOOKS like a bomb exploded in there. MrBongoNWC: Some kind of terrorist act at a Ironic T-shirt/Feminist Bookstore... Huggybear747: And your room looks like a cross between Robert DeNiro in Heat with Stuart Smiley decor for writers Huggybear747: like an AA for writers room MrBongoNWC: touche MrBongoNWC: I think your room will be my main set piece in a television series I'm developing called "DYKE HACKER". MrBongoNWC: "NOH FATTIE: DYKE HACKER" Huggybear747: Your body emits a taco seasoning smell. MrBongoNWC: Hey...I thought we weren't going to get PERSONAL. Ok...fine... MrBongoNWC: Feta cheese is harvested from underneath your titties by Kraft. Huggybear747: you have a gut like a hippo and the teeth like a 9 year old with no dentist MrBongoNWC: Chiun...you are incredible, you know that? Huggybear747: YOU BREATH LIKE A YAK! MrBongoNWC: You sitting naked in a chair looks like a melted snowman someone through hair all over. Huggybear747: You sitting naked in a chair looks like a fat man that someone through hair all over. MrBongoNWC: You look like someone melted cheese over the fat fuck from "BLADE"....and then put glasses on it and took a picture. Huggybear747: your mom's ugly! MrBongoNWC: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! LEONARDA BENNETT IS A SAINT! MrBongoNWC: I'm going to find where you LIVE and burn that place to the GROUND! Huggybear747: I would burn down your place, but it's wet and can't catch a flame MrBongoNWC: I wouldn't burn yours cause it's got...soda on it. MrBongoNWC: shut up. Huggybear747: communist. MrBongoNWC: secular meat fascist! Huggybear747: Occasional cast member of MAD TV! MrBongoNWC: One Week sit-in guest host on the "View". MrBongoNWC: Selling Steve Perry's mid-life crisis hot sauce: "Aerosmith: Sweet Peppers Emotion" and "Dude, Look Like it's Burnin" Jalepeno Sauce. Huggybear747: Stand in host for TALK SOUP Huggybear747: Voice coach for the Juicy Juice girl MrBongoNWC: Host of VH1's "World's Hottest Celebrity Fatties?" MrBongoNWC: You are the "Kicked in the Gonads" guy on a Japanese variety show called "Kubaki FUN TIME Exproshion!" Huggybear747: Personal Assistant to the OXY-CLEAN king Billy Mays Huggybear747: Arena league Football backup commentator for the Houston Armadillos MrBongoNWC signed off at 11:00:02 PM. MrBongoNWC signed on at 11:00:10 PM. MrBongoNWC: You're the guy who pretends the "Body by Jake" ab-demolisher is WORKING. MrBongoNWC: You host WIN LOSE or DRAW: Animals!!! on Animal Planet. Huggybear747: You do the wardrobe for that big ass fat guy on the Spanish channel Huggybear747: You answer phones in the background of MPT telethons MrBongoNWC: You host the Style network's "BLING BLING WEEK OF RAP TOWELS!" MrBongoNWC: You play in Emeril's band...cause people come for the JAZZ! Huggybear747: You were a 2nd unit grip on the set of METEOR MAN Huggybear747: You're Steve Gutenberg's agent MrBongoNWC: You're the "behind the throne" guy for the Tyler Perry EMPIRE. MrBongoNWC: You went belly up promoting PRO STARS: The CEREAL! Huggybear747: You work at the mall, wearing an aviation suit, selling whirly birds MrBongoNWC: dang MrBongoNWC: stings a bit Huggybear747: and you're not even Ukranian MrBongoNWC: lol MrBongoNWC: You will DIE alone. MrBongoNWC: And with many many many Sammy Hagar Tequila bottles lying around. Huggybear747: Hey, Cabo Wabo is expensive Huggybear747: You are a "Buffet-teer" MrBongoNWC: Mike...you go to Barry Manilow concerts for the Manil-HIGH! Huggybear747: damn Huggybear747: You are Elaine Boosler's protege MrBongoNWC: You are her leather tracksuit and hair stylist. Huggybear747: You're Paula Poundstone's Pants, and Rosie O'donell's panties with the dickhole in it MrBongoNWC: Yeah...women aren't funny. Huggybear747: you are right MrBongoNWC: You try on every Paula Poundstone vest and then pass out Pop Tarts to the audience dressed like Rip Taylor. Huggybear747: you are on the clean up crew for Gallahger performances MrBongoNWC: You are the sole hired CLAPPER for "Huey Lewis and the News." Huggybear747: You own DIPPIN' DOTS MrBongoNWC: damn Huggybear747: You are the casino floor boss for Gillian's MrBongoNWC: You are the man responsible for the surge in Native American Wolf Prints on Fat Girl's T-Shirts. MrBongoNWC: You are a BUYER for HOT TOPIC. (and Jesus put a curse on you so you can't kill yourself) Huggybear747: You deliver potatoes at Medieval Times in character MrBongoNWC: When the puppets break down at Showbiz Pizza...you FILL in...with your KEY-TAR. Huggybear747: You play children songs at Sea World when the show gets postponed because Shamu wants to fuck Huggybear747: You explain Parrots to people at the Rainforest Cafe MrBongoNWC: You're the guy responsible for keeping TRIGGER HAPPY TV on Comedy Central. Huggybear747: You bought the rights to "Gungho" MrBongoNWC: You're the "PATCH ADAMS" of CHI-CHI's. Huggybear747: you're the Patch Adams of Golden Corral Huggybear747: You are a boat captain on the riverwalk in San Antonio, "And to your left, is the world's largest margarita!" Huggybear747: You sell HOMIES to bowling alleys and Chinese takeout joints MrBongoNWC: You fold balloons to crying children at Friendly's dressed like a clown pirate. Huggybear747: You are a street magician Huggybear747: that works solely in pantomime Huggybear747: with a beret MrBongoNWC: You make CROWDS disappear. MrBongoNWC: You can stack CUPS super fast. Huggybear747: you scoop horse shit at the Dixie Stampede dressed like a Cowboy Huggybear747: You know how to play Star Trek Chess Huggybear747: AND YOU'RE GOOD AT IT! MrBongoNWC: You sit in your house filled to the brim with every MAGIC: the Gathering card waiting for a film crew to come in your house to show how weird this is, so you can silently masturbate in the closet as the Dragon told you to. Huggybear747: You're losing your fire John MrBongoNWC: You've been developing KRULL 2 for the last 14 years. Huggybear747: You've been grooming Dustin Diamond to be an action hero Huggybear747: You made Vin Diesel famous Huggybear747: and Ice Cube loved by white people MrBongoNWC: Michael Eisner? MrBongoNWC: You made "No Doubt" instrument-free. MrBongoNWC: Carson Daly sends you a fruit basket on your birthday for giving him a show. Huggybear747: You are the guy who hands out the payola to keep "American Pie" playing on oldies stations MrBongoNWC: You rolled Roger Daltrey out of bed to make me buy 70's music in BULK. Huggybear747: You were the marketing genius behind ZIMA MrBongoNWC: Mike's Life Goal: CHRIS KATTAN: MOVIE SUPERSTAR. Huggybear747: christ that's horrible. Huggybear747: You're the talent scout for "The Comic View" MrBongoNWC: Blue Collar Comedy Tour? - people owe you a nickel everytime they SAY it. Huggybear747: You were the man who signed "Dream On" for 10 seasons on HBO Huggybear747: and the catalyst to keep "Arli$s" running MrBongoNWC: I know TALENT. Huggybear747: I know, that's why you funded all those MVP movies Huggybear747: Most Valuble Primate MrBongoNWC: You're the proprietator of the OJ Simpson video library...address the trunk of your Toyota Corolla. Huggybear747: You pay Hammer to be his hype man. MrBongoNWC: Busters got to hang. Hammer's got to hang. MrBongoNWC: I see a mutual gain. Huggybear747: You're in the works of engineering a Johnathan Taylor Thomas rise to A-list status MrBongoNWC: You have a storage warehouse full of ARIZONA CARDINALS: SUPER BOWL CHAMPS! sweatshirts. Huggybear747: You got 100 VHS copies of "Back to The Beach" because you thought they were going to be collectable when Frankie Avalon died MrBongoNWC: You gave Annette Funicello Lou Gehrig's Disease...just to bump her memoribilia re-sale value. Huggybear747: You collect AUTHENTIC HAWAIIAN MILK POGS Huggybear747: you know 15 tricks with a yo-yo MrBongoNWC: You don't care. CAUSE you LOVE POGS. MrBongoNWC: You make clothes out of Skee Ball Tickets. Huggybear747: You pick up girls at Renaissance Fairs MrBongoNWC: You pick up girls by luring them to traps with Snackwells. Huggybear747: Hey, I don't force them into the snare, you can see it, it's obvious Huggybear747: you had your house feng shui'ed MrBongoNWC: You made your house look like the Millenium Falcon...but the inside is all SMURF shit....even other nerds HATE your lack of commitment. Huggybear747: You are a HAM RADIO OPERATOR Huggybear747: card carrying in fact. Huggybear747: you wear a badge. MrBongoNWC: You are a secret shopper of Chipotle. Huggybear747: damn Huggybear747: You got hired as a temp at Wal-Mart to greet people when Ethyl had her hip replacement Huggybear747: you're the guy at the bank who wears a suit and stands in the corner MrBongoNWC: You got fired from the Great American Fudge Factory for not memorizing your mock Motown songs about FUDGE...(and you ate all the FUDGE.) Huggybear747: John, you started at JOHNNY ROCKETS, and then you got noticed, and took my job at THE FUDGERY. Huggybear747: They liked what they saw MrBongoNWC: "Gleaming the Cube" stickers is your livelihood. Huggybear747: You spent 300 dollars in quarters just to beat HOLOGRAM TIME TRAVELER MrBongoNWC: You WATCHED and pissed your pants. Huggybear747: hhahahah Huggybear747: christ MrBongoNWC: Then you went on the DANCE DANCE to dry your chapped PENIS... MrBongoNWC: Thank you AIR VENTS! Huggybear747: fuck you. MrBongoNWC: I'm the winner. Huggybear747: I'm out of wit. Huggybear747: you are. MrBongoNWC: WINNER IS ME! Huggybear747: that one was too strong MrBongoNWC: CHIP CHIP CHERRY! MrBongoNWC: You got HOLOGRAM-OWNED! Huggybear747: enjoy your victory John while you can MrBongoNWC: I'm doing donuts. MrBongoNWC: LITERALLY Huggybear747: ......which means, get that 4 pack of plain Zingers from the snack machine, the 3 with frosting is good, but there's 4 in the plain pack MrBongoNWC: I'm sticking my penis on donuts. Huggybear747: indulge in your spoils. MrBongoNWC: And then lying down for the Seagulls. MrBongoNWC: Say KUMATE! MrBongoNWC: SAY IT! Huggybear747: actually, the word was MA-TE Huggybear747: MA-.........................TEH..................... Huggybear747: Kumate was the name of the tournament MrBongoNWC: That one was for the Orge from Revenge of the Nerds. Huggybear747: Alright, it's midnight, I wasted my night and my wit on you Huggybear747: bastard Huggybear747: have a swell night champ Huggybear747: peass
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