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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2004-06-01 - 5:34 a.m. I need to try to embrace the rain, because if I don't soon, I'll just go buy that handgun and take all the sorrow away. Something about the grey skies that just say to me, "Man, you suck............god damn, you're right.......this all sucks......." *click-click* BLAOW! In the past it was just like.......oh rain......and I always remembered, whenever my family decided to be a family and do family things, it rained. Now it's like I'm on the brink of ending it all at the sight of precipitation. All yesterday, all I did pretty much is eat and feel sorry for myself and I couldn't help to think about how much of an asshole I was and wondered if my asshole ability was a gift or curse. I pretty much concluded that every ability is a gift AND a curse, but why couldn't I be a fucking astrophysicist or something?!?! -yup, an asshole through and through. Fucking rain......puts a deeper shade of gray on shit that's already shady and washes away (WARSHES AWAY-for the Baltimore folk) all that bullshit color you put in your life and puts you back at square one. I see my room dirty, I see my truck.....dirty......My demeanor.....slovenly.......a clown without makeup and a bottle in his hand.....looking halfway hobo, halfway ghetto-billy....unshaven....partial to marinating in his own filth....talkin' revolution.....but slumped in a sofa, content with the equivalents of dick n' balls jokes he devises as fodder walks into his line of vision, hoping just one will give inspiration past the "HEY! FUCK YOU BUDDY! YOU SUCK!" Mentality that always seems to make his unwilling and unknowing opponents wince at themselves and somehow make them feel good about it. Feed them shit and give them a shit-eating grin, Therein lies the ability.......dealing with shit all day, therein lies the curse. Vicki Bennett, I love you, let's make babies happen......
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