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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2005-01-04 - 1:09 p.m. So yeah, for all you cultured geniuses out there, I got my first real taste of Tom Waits last night. I've heard the name so many times, in CMJ magazines and college radio-esque crap but I never said "hey! let's pick up some Tom Waits!" at the record store.....I heard Tom Waits specifically once before in a record store not too long ago and remember thinking to myself, "Is this fucking Ween?" and I remember asking the cute lady behind the counter while I was molesting their vinyl shelves, "Is this Ween?" and of course, I think she was forcing herself to be nice when she responded, with me being her last customer of the night asking to hear record after record, but I think she wanted to say, "IT'S TOM WAITS YOU JACKASS!" You know how record store folks can be, shit I would be too......I would of dug it too if this cutie got music snooty with me......mmmmmm women with brains.......drool..........I got alot of good vinyl that night and made their slow night into a good night. So we were all winners, but I didn't get any Tom Waits. So, as true friends always do, they hook you up with the next shit or just shit that they think is good. Nikc randomly showed up at my door with a data stick of Tom Waits, John Waters Christmas, and some Bruce Haack and Esther Nelson and an already burned copy of Yesterday's New Quintet. So, Nikc urged me to listen to "Tom Traubert's Blues" by Mr. Waits and I think it was the very same song I heard the night at the record store. Now, listening to this, you can't help but to wonder, "Is this guy for real?!??!" "This muthafucka is raspy!" So needless to say, it's infectious. I listened to it all night. I get the impression that anyone that listens to Tom Waits must try to do their best impersonation of Tom Waits within the first hour of listening to Tom Waits. I think if i throw back a couple of McEwan's and smoke 15 packs of Tijuana Smalls straight, I could remotely sound like Tom Waits. The urge to "accidentally" sing along is stronger then Neil Diamond's Christmas album and the compulsion is stronger then doing Jack Nicholson impressions when talking about Jack Nicholson. I compare Tom Waits voice to that of Scatman Crothers....  Especially Scatman in the "KICK THE CAN!!!!" bit from the Twilight Zone movie....."NOT IF ITS GOT A LITTLE MAAAAAAAGGGGGGIIIIIK IN IT!" I love Tom Waits, I envision a somber bar, I can see my friend Bat making a sore face and just saying something like "DIRTY WET!" and shaking his head. I can feel babies crying all around me in fear of Tom Waits scatting voice and I revel in all this. I just imagine babies crying like crazy while Tom Waits is singing songs in a clown suit to confused children. I see myself listening to Tom Waits and turning the sound down to the Teletubbies or something for some odd reason. Tom Waits, you're a gritty muthafucka.
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