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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2002-10-28 - 12:35 p.m. Yeah, I'm preparing. Scheming plans, saving funds, "training", doing research. My secret. Gonna knock you all dead on your ass I bet (not too hard I hope), but that's just me. Don't bother thinking, I'll tell you up front, you're wasting your time. I know it's a cock tease and all and that's the worst but when it happens you can't say I didn't leave any evidence. Plus, what have you come to expect from me? Really, just another cock tease stacked on top of the mountain I've laid down over the times we've spent. The disappointment is grand already. The people I most care about I think have grown accustomed to my asshole/fuck-up "flair" and maybe some of them even might shrug their shoulders and go, "That crazy Mike, so crazy." Anyways, it pains me to think what's behind that look and makes me utter to myself, "Why are you still here?" I feel like a con man that cons people's time and life away from them. A charismatic parasite. I'm working for the devil and I just want to put in my two weeks in. All roads lead to fear, all points converge in me no matter where I run. Someone I dearly love once told me "ACTION-SATISFACTION." It's burned into my psyche but I haven't even learned to crawl, coo, or respond to shiny things yet. There's always a yet. As long as my request to god is rejected, the yet will always be there. I was put here for something or the big black mamma upstairs is just pulling my chain.
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