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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2002-02-27 - 3:56 p.m. Too much shit going on, I gotta get on top of it all........seems impossible...........I drag in the dirt...........hopefully I didn't reach the point of no return.......God knows when I see what's ahead, I got no idea how to tackle it........It's all a jumbled mess.......everything is thrown around in some tumble dry.......I'm old, wet clothes, weighed down and being thrown about in a hard metal cell........the heat is unbearable, my moisture and the dryer's heat makes for awfully shitty humidity. I'm letting go of something great, something that's so beautiful, and probably something I'll never see the likes of again only in my fond memories. I gotta change this life, I gotta trudge on with my head up and have my feet firmly planted. I need to go back to the concrete. We fell from the sky and now WE need to walk to see all that WE saw from up above looking down, those things WE overlooked, all those details that can't be seen from overhead. I chilled in the Exosphere with her and she still wanted "space." I tried to hang on, but I was pulling her down and by some gravity in my mind was pulling me down, pulling her, pulling us down. Now we sit on the ground. She still playfully goes back into the clouds and I smile when I see her overhead, maybe someday we'll soar even higher, but for now, I'm planted in the soil and I don't intend to fly. I feel as if I can't, what I've had and still possess doesn't yearn for escapades in the clouds. It yearns for journeys into that space, high high above, where wings don't matter no more, but here I am on the ground for today and tommorrow and I catch myself daily just looking up.
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