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2003-02-17 - 11:22 p.m. nikki sucks it: whats up dude nikki sucks it: have you been playing in the snow? Huggybear747: if you replace snow with self, then yes Huggybear747: yes I have Huggybear747: quite a bit. nikki sucks it: haha Huggybear747: :-) nikki sucks it: nice Huggybear747: Just been staying inside, playing video games Huggybear747: snackin nikki sucks it: did you do anything on valentines day? Huggybear747: watching monster garage Huggybear747: Nope Huggybear747: I slept actually Huggybear747: Didn't get my mom anything nikki sucks it: haha who gets their mom anything on valentines day? Huggybear747: I did nikki sucks it: i think i did up until 6th grade Huggybear747: Well, yeah, I didn't get valentines back then either nikki sucks it: then i wanted boys nikki sucks it: boys boys boys Huggybear747: Just them mandatory shitty ones Huggybear747: I gave out valentines in High school once, me and Kevin nikki sucks it: hey, they're better than nothing Huggybear747: I think we gave out wrestling ones nikki sucks it: hehe Huggybear747: Well, I rather have silence then mercy laughter nikki sucks it: my friend lorelei gave me weird alien acid trip ones nikki sucks it: hey, you never know Huggybear747: I saw Raven the night before, I guess it was my valentine. Dancing with her. Huggybear747: Never know what? nikki sucks it: some girl could have really meant it when she gave you one Huggybear747: Well, they got odd ways of showing it. nikki sucks it: like slow dance? Huggybear747: nah Huggybear747: Just dance Huggybear747: DJ Faust and Shortee Huggybear747: nice breaks nikki sucks it: ohhh nikki sucks it: i danced on friday night Huggybear747: word nikki sucks it: it was jungle and some cheesy trance stuff too Huggybear747: I had dinner and smoked up with Faust and Shortee on Thursday nikki sucks it: haha so i read in your diary Huggybear747: that's why I slept all Valentine's, well I worked in the day with no sleep then just passed out nikki sucks it: i haven't been sober since about thursday night nikki sucks it: ohhhh :-( Huggybear747: ohhhh? nikki sucks it: that you had to work nikki sucks it: with no sleep Huggybear747: Well, it was interning at the creative alliance, it's tolerable nikki sucks it: what's the creaive alliance Huggybear747: I found some really cheesy valentine's decor though for their salsa party nikki sucks it: creative* Huggybear747: http://www.creativealliance.org nikki sucks it: ohh in bmore nikki sucks it: right? Huggybear747: yup Huggybear747: Great people nikki sucks it: thats neat Huggybear747: You tellin me sista nikki sucks it: i had mushrooms for the first time this weekend nikki sucks it: i am still not over it Huggybear747: I want some shrooms nikki sucks it: if you ever want to feel like the whole logic of the entire world just collapsed, then you should try them Huggybear747: Yeah, people think I'm naturally bonkers Huggybear747: It'll probably turn me to normal nikki sucks it: it felt like, i realized that what holds everything together is just a tiny string that can come apart so easily nikki sucks it: it was definitely whacky nikki sucks it: i dunno, you definitely wouldn't be normal.. Huggybear747: Nick and My brother once compared me to Dennis Hopper nikki sucks it: yeah nikki sucks it: but... dennis hopper is still not the same as mushrooms man Huggybear747: You read that, didn't you. Huggybear747: Damn. nikki sucks it: yes Huggybear747: hahah Huggybear747: You read all that nonsense? Huggybear747: Right down to the Soccer legs? nikki sucks it: mushrooms is like dennis hopper lost in a neverending space vaccuum of craziness Huggybear747: Have you ever met Dennis Hopper? nikki sucks it: i didnt read it all Huggybear747: good nikki sucks it: no i haven't Huggybear747: Don't waste your time Huggybear747: with the reading nikki sucks it: shut up Huggybear747: if you see Hopper, go on right ahead nikki sucks it: anyways, i'd suggest taking the mushrooms with someone you trust/know very well, who is also taking them with you Huggybear747: Yeah, I know, my friend Settler is down nikki sucks it: cuz no one else is going to understand what the hell you're talking about at all Huggybear747: Well, then that's normal nikki sucks it: every time i put the hoodie up on my sweatshirt, i felt like my head was a tv set Huggybear747: god damn nikki sucks it: haha it was one crazy time man Huggybear747: I bet nikki sucks it: i was getting all philosophical too nikki sucks it: it was kind of therapeutic in a way Huggybear747: A Priori Huggybear747: I would hope so? nikki sucks it: to step that far outside yoruself nikki sucks it: you get a lot of perspective nikki sucks it: anyways :-) Huggybear747: anyways? nikki sucks it: what do you think of Marines? Huggybear747: They are a cocky bunch, don't tip very well. Huggybear747: Women are very butch Huggybear747: Guys are all into karate and cars nikki sucks it: haha nikki sucks it: hahahaha nikki sucks it: i met one... he's not into karate, but he is into buddhism Huggybear747: a buddhist Marine Huggybear747: god. nikki sucks it: ok let me explain Huggybear747: go on. nikki sucks it: he is waiting to be discharged, because he hates it Huggybear747: ahhhhh Huggybear747: Most do nikki sucks it: i dunno.. nikki sucks it: not my type at all, but maybe that is a good thing nikki sucks it: right Huggybear747: well, if there's a connection, why pull it apart? nikki sucks it: you're right Huggybear747: You'll make him one hell of a lucky bloke if you haven't already. nikki sucks it: haha :-[ Huggybear747: I guess you did nikki sucks it: yeah, i'm not one for waiting nikki sucks it: anymore Huggybear747: anymore? Huggybear747: What do you mean? nikki sucks it: in high school, i still had that whole virginal mentality nikki sucks it: waiting for everything nikki sucks it: waiting to say what i felt even Huggybear747: Well, I would call it lack of confidence Huggybear747: why all the fancy wording Huggybear747: You're a women who wants things, by all means get it, cause you can nikki sucks it: haha nikki sucks it: thank you Huggybear747: there's no other way to live nikki sucks it: you're right nikki sucks it: i know i try to justify my own drug use...but, its one thing that is changing about me since i have started doing things Huggybear747: Do what's appropriate, whether it be right or wrong nikki sucks it: right on Huggybear747: That's how the mind works Huggybear747: or should work nikki sucks it: well, so far it was just one really great weekend nikki sucks it: and i will just go with what happens Huggybear747: props girl Huggybear747: dang! nikki sucks it: dang Huggybear747: dang Huggybear747: you using it? nikki sucks it: hahaha nikki sucks it: oh man nikki sucks it: i did once, and the reaction was... well, it was not well received nikki sucks it: oh shit! on Friday night, i met this girl who happened to be from MD nikki sucks it: and this is what she says to me... nikki sucks it: "where are you from in MD??" nikki sucks it: and i say, "Harford County" Huggybear747: and? nikki sucks it: and she laughs hysterically and turns to her friend and says, "dude, this girls is from the ARMPIT of maryland! the only thing that's worse is Cecil County" nikki sucks it: i thought it was funny Huggybear747: Fuck that nikki sucks it: hehe Huggybear747: HAZARD COUNTY WHAT WHAT Huggybear747: Garret county is bumpkinfied, so is all of the rest of West MD, Huggybear747: But Harford is the armpit nikki sucks it: hehe nikki sucks it: well i'm pretty sure she was rolling, so dont hold it against her nikki sucks it: it was all in good fun nikki sucks it: it was a bonding experience at least... i've never met anyone else from MD Huggybear747: first time for everything Huggybear747: my ass is actually getting numb. God damn, I've felt it all nikki sucks it: haha Huggybear747: That's better Huggybear747: I broke the wheel on this chair nikki sucks it: hahaha wow Huggybear747: that's what I get for giving it the flying butt pliers nikki sucks it: how? nikki sucks it: oh boy Huggybear747: I'm a tubby one Huggybear747: Pretty soon I'll rock them FUBU moo-moos nikki sucks it: hey, the tubby ones are better at sex Huggybear747: That's why they never get it as much. nikki sucks it: haha.. nikki sucks it: well thats my opinion anyways Huggybear747: Well, chunky but funky. nikki sucks it: dude i want some potatoe chips and onion dip nikki sucks it: doesnt that sound good Huggybear747: I would still fancy myself a novice, a retired novice. nikki sucks it: not retired Huggybear747: Yeah, it does, but I don't like that onion smell, i'm not really in a salty mood nikki sucks it: just...on a break Huggybear747: Retired. nikki sucks it: c'mon now Huggybear747: It's not like it's a hope issue. nikki sucks it: you're only 21 Huggybear747: Yeah. Huggybear747: and? Huggybear747: that means? Huggybear747: I can buy beer? nikki sucks it: well, it means you have a lot of more years ahead of you nikki sucks it: i guess i am sort of bitter but i dont believe in one life long love... cuz if i did, i'd be retired too Huggybear747: Bitter? nikki sucks it: bitter because i thought i was in love, but its over nikki sucks it: and now i have to move on Huggybear747: I'm a bit at times. but who isn't? I much rather let natures take it's course and what's wrong with making a forecast Huggybear747: I love the world nikki sucks it: people tend to make their "destiny" come true because they believe it will whatever they do Huggybear747: attention to that is the best sex in the world Huggybear747: ? nikki sucks it: ? Huggybear747: I thought you left me hangin nikki sucks it: no i was asking if anyone had dip :-( Huggybear747: Am I bringin you down? Seriously, if I was angry and depressed, you'd know it. nikki sucks it: no nikki sucks it: not at all Huggybear747: word Huggybear747: I get all like "Oh no here it comes again" when people ask about my love life nikki sucks it: i'm sorry Huggybear747: don't be nikki sucks it: i will admit that i dont understand how you do it Huggybear747: The story teller gets bored after awhile but it's all good Huggybear747: Do what? nikki sucks it: well you told me that you're broken up Huggybear747: uh huh nikki sucks it: and that you told her she can do whatever she wants and you'll still be there for her Huggybear747: I'll always be there for her nikki sucks it: i got the impression that you dont care if she's with other people Huggybear747: It's not much a declaration as it is a process. Just like anything you need reassurance at times, but if she aight, I'm aight. I look out for her and all my dawgs. Huggybear747: Care? Huggybear747: I worry like any human being would. Envy? At times. Really, but it's not really the issue. nikki sucks it: i dunno, for a while i couldnt talk to Chris because he was with other people Huggybear747: It is a difficult thing nikki sucks it: we alway said we'd be friends foever nikki sucks it: but forever ended Huggybear747: Not all the stories have storybook endings Huggybear747: It's not like Raven can't do the same thing to me Huggybear747: Or me to her Huggybear747: vice versa nikki sucks it: yeah, i'm just saying that i had to distance myself to get over it nikki sucks it: i had to break the attachment to him Huggybear747: Well, how's 70 miles ? Huggybear747: SHe's in CP nikki sucks it: how's 3,000 Huggybear747: I talk to her about once every month Huggybear747: if that nikki sucks it: i'm just saying that i am different is all Huggybear747: We got are differencs, but the game and the rules are all the same nikki sucks it: i am too stubborn and selfish to deal with it Huggybear747: Maybe, it doesn't make you worse nikki sucks it: love shouldn't be seperate from friendship nikki sucks it: but people make it that way, and i fell into the trap Huggybear747: Love is friendship first Huggybear747: It does complicate things Huggybear747: I've gone through alot of that nikki sucks it: i have sociology to rationalize it all, but then when it comes to actually interacting with people, its not rational nikki sucks it: its jealous and selfish and possesive Huggybear747: Well, you can analyze, Raven did that alot, I bet she still does thinking about me, but alot of it is straight from the gut and the heart Huggybear747: Love is possessive, "Sometimes I can't help to think your mine" -Isley Brothers nikki sucks it: haha nikki sucks it: i've read some articles that link "love" in our society to capitalism Huggybear747: It's just that confidence. It's nothing personal, but it can be nikki sucks it: and it gets really depressing to break it down to that Huggybear747: Capitalism is exploitation nikki sucks it: like, its just another thing to own Huggybear747: To put love in that sense Huggybear747: just too mechanical, cold nikki sucks it: yeah Huggybear747: Love is that feeling when you are just in absolute peace, things seem brighter, food tastes better, that whole vibe. nikki sucks it: it is nikki sucks it: but, they say that it is just another thing that functions as part of capitalism nikki sucks it: to keep people working harder nikki sucks it: to buy a home nikki sucks it: to be married Huggybear747: Well, Valentine's day.................hmmmmmmmmmm nikki sucks it: haha Huggybear747: Hallmark holiday nikki sucks it: yeah nikki sucks it: i dunno, i'm in the middle on the matter nikki sucks it: like my ship tattoo, i'm lost in between out at sea nikki sucks it: life wouldn't be worth living if it was all explainable and rational Huggybear747: Well, yeah, but we do try to reach for a perfection Huggybear747: But it's more a perfection in the process of knowing and not knowing itself nikki sucks it: i used to think there was something perfect out there nikki sucks it: but i dont anymore.. Huggybear747: People like to say imperfection is perfection nikki sucks it: it should be like the way you think of art nikki sucks it: its an expression and it cant be really right or wrong nikki sucks it: i just like some art better than others Huggybear747: Well, yeah. Huggybear747: True nikki sucks it: sigh, i have to do more homeowork Huggybear747: NO! nikki sucks it: haha yes! i didnt do any all weekend Huggybear747: Well, you aren't snowed in Huggybear747: you don't have free time like me nikki sucks it: hah no i'm not Huggybear747: go on right ahead nikki sucks it: alright, talk to you later Huggybear747: peass out grrl Huggybear747: have a good night n shit Huggybear747: dang! nikki sucks it: hey did you get that cd yet? Huggybear747: Mail doesn't get delivered today Huggybear747: and obviously, I don't know if mail would get here tommorrow Huggybear747: Our mailbox is nearly buried in snow Huggybear747: Thigh deep in the back What can I say, I think IM CONVOS are more of a natural way to get closer to my psyche. I know alot of you get annoyed about it, but really, it's really the best way to get to know me other then talking to me in person. nikki sucks it: haha oh yeah... i just mailed it the same day as a package to my mom, and she got hers on friday i think nikki sucks it: i hope it was the right address :-( Huggybear747: 301 Lockhart? nikki sucks it: yeah nikki sucks it: it'll get there...hopefully hehe Huggybear747: Yeah Huggybear747: It should nikki sucks it: ok, have a good night! nikki sucks it: im out Huggybear747: peass
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