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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2005-02-25 - 11:33 a.m. A long hiatus diary..... ....'Tis a good thing. Technically, it's called "vacation." Usually, ideas of vacation involves getting drunk, doing some sort of joyful focused "nothing," hopefully some sort of departure from daily surroundings and events, eating out entirely too much, and add a tinge of soul searching to enliven the whole sweet deal. I did more. I've read somewhere that Americans, compared to the rest of the industrialized world, take the fewest vacation days. I'm thoroughly ashamed, not at the fact that we take the fewest vacation days, but the idea of vacation to many involves nothing that challenges the mind or body or enlivens the spirit-I think this with the uninteresting people lining up to fly to Cancun at the airport today in mind. Maybe there's hope's catalyst behind every margarita, every bout of "Montezuma's Revenge," and pool boy/Mexican-Lady-of-the-Night. Huggybear747 (1:23:15 PM): I love how you underline and bold everything  Huggybear747 (1:33:18 PM): okay Huggybear747 (1:33:25 PM): That's a tattoo never to get Grandmas Dick (1:33:46 PM): especially if your ole lady is named hope Huggybear747 (1:34:02 PM): just asking for trouble Nikc is right, hope IS an anchor. I can be a hopeful person, just like everyone else but hope is not a quality that makes me who I am. I guess alot of people put credence into the saying but I'm led to believe not many think of accepting the meaning of hope other then of that of being an elaborate wish. Hope is merely the first "step" in true understanding and living. Many go on trying to "attain" it, the "right" hope as it were but many can't grasp that hope isn't to be deserved, hope is innate in all things and in all ways. I never lost sight of hope. I never merely accepted hope in all it's altered forms. I struggled, I hurt, I wrestled with these feelings and now I feel as if I made peace with things over this week of "vacation." I've found something profound in my heart. I've accepted this great challenge and I realize that it all can only be a "beginning" of an eternal sort.....if that makes any sense. I think of the Chicago tune of the same name when this thought comes to mind. I'm drawn to live and spend my whole life in every second with this woman who looks back at me with eyes that pierce my very soul and accepts every dimension of my being with a soft welcoming-padded with her suppleness, her intelligence, and her grace....which are all of an extraordinary kind which in turn, on a daily basis leads me to believe I have been given a wonderful gift I cannot readily explain or embrace without understanding and experiencing life as a whole. The challenge she and I face are part of the eternal joy that is true love. I can visualize our future together down to the details of the pots and pans we're going to put in our kitchen and the type of bed we'll choose to sleep in. Friends, simply I've accepted someone into my life. Someone I embrace like a sunrise and cherish like a sunset. Not Jesus..... Not a girl named "Hope." It's Cindy. Cindy's be the bomb n shit....... Cindy's the "good life." Cindy's bossa nova music. But quite simply, the love of my life.
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