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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2003-04-02 - 11:37 a.m. You should hear the keystroke sounds coming from all the keyboards in this computer lab. It tickles your ears if you concentrate on it. Once I turn this paper into enrollment services I'll be a Women Studies major. I had to actually try to really hammer out what attracts me to the major and I came up with that it was something I was actually interested to learn WITH PATIENCE. I also think it's 'cause it's a small department that actually cares about their students. It's very therapeutic for me also and sometimes it's like every class is some sort of psychological evaluation of myself. This can be good or bad at times, but for the most part it's eye-opening, fresh, and personally and socially relevant. Everything else about school I'm having trouble with. I hate the ways we have to learn in general at times. Women Studies is a roundtable disscussion chock full of facts and stats and reasons behind reasons. I hate driving to school 45 minutes to and fro. I hate the policies of full time and part time students pertaining to financial aid and insurance. I hate the non-community atmosphere at Towson University. I hate grading systems. I hate the paperwork in triplicate that you gotta fill out to enroll, drop/add, registering, etc. Everything is being held by a tiny shread of sense it seems. It's depressing, but I gotta believe this is something to immerse myself in. I think someone was right to tell me that I should of stepped away from all this after last semester. Take a break, time to breathe again but I said I couldn't because of financial aid bills and lack of health coverage for my ails. I wasn't ready physically, emotionally, and mentally for all this and quite frankly, I don't remember when I was ready at all. I'm thinking of ways around this. A compromise with all this, another reinvention of self that I believe is gonna jar me loose of these pains. Move out, full time job, part time school (2 classes?) It makes sense for what it is, I can't say I've hammered out all the particulars. Maybe school will make more sense when I'm just taking Women Studies courses through and through. Whatever it is, I know I won't go out like a wuss and I'd die before I let myself fall to new all time lows. Ahh, the joys of youth. I find myself yearning for sensual comforts, head nodding rhythms, intellectual stimulation, and commeradery with the people I truly love.
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