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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2003-05-24 - 9:37 a.m. I'm tired of giving out my pseudo advice. So here's some stuff about me. -I sleep with a Bi-pap machine. This model in particular. Oh it likes to cuddle and tangle me up in the tubes. and makes a nice constant purr sound. The machine gives me super-sleep and signifigantly reduces the numbers of times I pass out while driving. -I'm not wearing any underwear right now. I'm free-ballin'! Just as long as your bits n pieces aren't muggy and funky, it's all good. It's okay though 'cause I baby powder my naughty bits to keep the moisture OUT and the natural juices IN. -I have an extensive collection of hats that rivals LL Cool J's, but most of mine are of the Foam variety, making me oh so EMO -I wait till I pick up my phone and get redirected to my phone provider to pay my cell phone bills. -The last CD I bought was a used promo copy of Aphex Twin's "26 mixes for Cash" -The last records I bought were some Yoga instructional records, and no I'm not going to be doing Yoga anytime soon unless I get that hankering to suck my own dick again. The records are very funny, sounds like Julia Child teaching you how to do Yoga. -Just like my father, I know a little about alot, but unfortunately not much else. -I had a dope jump shot. -My new recent fascination is trying to witness a midget trying to jump rope with a regular person jump rope. -  Joyo Velarde is all kinds of hot and she can sing damnit. -Speaking of Joyo, after seeing her perform the other night, her stage partnerLyrics Born is a total Japanese-sumo-funky-panda-style-pimp with that honey gravel voice that makes you melt. His look is definitely a lifestyle I envy. -I always have a bottle of Mang Toma's ALL PURPOSE sauce on hand at all times. -My friend Seth can spot the movie BEACHES a mile away. That's all that film school paying off AND THEN SOME. -I saw "Matrix Reloaded" the other night and I thought it was the comedy blockbuster of the summer. I left the theater after staying for the 13 MINUTES OF CREDITS! to see the trailer for the next one feeling that what I had just witnessed deserved me an Intro to Philosophy credit at a local community college. -It's a known fact to me that teaching a fat kid how to dance without having his titties jiggle is IMPOSSIBLE. -I was once a two-time Putt-Putt Super Saturday Champion. -Last Night, I saw a man, a man with a pony tail, play Dance, Dance, Revolution on SUPER HARD MODE. He hardly missed a beat and promptly after the dynamite finish of the song, collapsed by the side of the machine in absolute exhaustion. In the same night, I left that arcade cashing in my ticket winnings for a monkey with a snorkel. -Seth, during his brief stay back in MD, was stricken with CRANE MACHINE FEVER and along with my brother actually and I shit you not, snagged a his/her watch set (GENEVA retail, 250.00, made in China -I have the coolest dashboard ordament known to mankind.
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