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 Latest
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Diaryland |
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2003-11-28 - 7:55 a.m. So, I'm gonna die pretty soon. I'm fortelling my death, that's right. I live on edge I tell you. I eat more then I should at buffet-style settings. I'll smoke'em if you got'em peace pipe. Sometimes, I blink my eyes when I drive. I also handle an electric toothbrush in the shower (*My life approach to things in daily business is the "X for 1" approach, where I try to do X amount of things in 1 thing [X>1], i.e. Showering and Toothbrushing). Sometimes, I put my crotch up against the microwave while it's on......maybe this isn't so deadly or anything, but increases chances of making a mutant baby if so happens a woman finds a recently filthy tissue of mine and decides to buff her cervix with it. *Then I would wish to die a horrible death* I cut my fingernails too short. I have my cellphone on while I pump gas and I put a shaggy rug down and get into my bare feet and do the "running man" with my hand on the gasoline nozzle. Whenever I'm on an escalator, I try to do elaborate dismounts from the metal stairs of death......one slip-up I tell you, that's all it takes.....
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